War
by dishcalledhaggis
Summary: After an AntiMutant fight that resulted in capture and later escape... Jean, Kitty and Jubilee are forced to go on the run, with new identities AND hair colors! But trouble just seems to follow these girls like a lovesick pup...
1. On The Run

This was a fight for their lives. Jean felt the strange calmness of her teammates, and they knew this might be it. The end. Wiped out like they were nothing, genocide of homo superior. Scott blasted through men with his laser sight without a second thought, fighting alongside Logan like they had never been at odds with each other. So sad it had to come to this for them to put their differences aside. Storm killed troopers with repeated strikes of lightning.  
She had feared death so many times, and now that it was here, she had that same peace. If she died, she knew she lived for something. People might desecrate her body, but her spirit would be free. They would cut her to pieces to find her Mutant origin, but she wouldn't feel pain. Being Mutant wouldn't matter anymore, and they would have to learn the hard way. This evolution couldn't be stopped. Their children would mutate, and they'd have to come to grips with the fact they were so ignorant to have attempted killing off what the future generation would become.  
But for now, all they saw was a race of humans who were abnormal, who didn't deserve the right to live. Possible terrorists, threats to society. The X-Men knew they would lose, but they continued on as if the fight were turning around.

Jean sat in the holding tank with hands on her knees and head bowed. They had removed her suit, and put her in plain white clothes. It was specialized to keep her from reading thoughts, no chance to escape. She had to hand it to them, they did their research. In this place, she was powerless, her mind could move nothing, sense no one. There wasn't even the impression of a doorway. Just a vent in the far right corner that moved fresh air in. She wished she had died, instead of this. Now she thought of what they might do to her. Tests, interrogation, torture. Her life was in their hands, they could end it or prolong it as they saw fit.

If it was her imagination, she didn't care. The slightest sound came through the vent, but she made no move to acknowledge it. She would bet her own arm that they were watching. A flicker of hope bloomed in her chest, could that sound be one of her team? How many were captured alive? Digging fingernails into her legs, she pushed that far from her mind. It was possible she was the only one left. It would be too painful to know that people she loved were being kept away from her. She had to act as if they were all dead, that way if they tried to use any of them as bait, she wouldn't rise to it.  
'They are all dead, Jean.'  
Even if they paraded them just inches from her reach, she wouldn't look.  
'Dead. All dead and gone.' She lay down and closed her eyes, letting the tears leak out as her face was hidden by her hair.

There was that sound again. It could be no more than a faulty air vent, but it sounded like an indignant shout. Food appeared in her cell, and she ate it like a good prisoner. No doubt they were keeping her tranquilized by putting drugs inside. The sound came at intermittent times, and she began to wonder who was just so bent out of shape that they couldn't keep their big mouth shut.  
'Logan.'  
A painful throb from her chest made her scramble on hands and knees to the toilet and throw up the food she had just begun to digest. Had it been hours or days since she thought of him, of Storm or Jean-Paul? Images of their faces came unbidden, making her lose more of the meal she barely tasted to begin with.

"Jean Grey."  
"What, you haven't given me a number to memorize yet," she smirked, refusing to look her captors in the eye. "I kinda like 31415926535897, you know, like Pi."  
The soldier shifted uneasily on his feet. "Pie?"  
"You know, you're kind of stupid for a military man. P-I," she spelled out.  
"Oh."  
"I used to work for the government, too. But you knew that already, Solider Boy."  
"I saw you on television," he replied.  
"Never thought so many Mutants were out there, did you?"  
"No."  
"Why are you here," she asked.  
"Do you have anything to say?"  
"Here to take dictation? I have no comment." He turned to leave. "You may be in their good graces now, but if I were you I'd get the hell out of America. That's off the record, Solider Boy."

The man Jean had nicknamed Soldier Boy came and went every so often, seeing what she had to say. Sometimes he'd ask her straight questions, others he'd let her talk about what she liked. Though mostly it was obscure things that held no importance to her.  
"Why don't you ask me about the rest of them?"  
"Because I don't care to know," she sighed.  
"Really, not even who we have?"  
"You have me, what more could you hope for?"  
"Why is that?"  
"I'm sure in that file of mine there's a class level." A twitch of his foot confirmed that. "I'm the biggest baddest one you could ever have," she laughed.  
"But you never commited crimes like The Brotherhood did."  
"They were scared of me as well. And Solider Boy, if I wasn't drugged up and in this concrete box...you know what..." He paused, curious to know. "I could make you walk me right out of here, free and clear to live my life in peace. I could make you believe you were the second coming of Jesus, and then I could make you walk on water," she put a maniacal gleam into her eyes to scare him off, and it worked. But he would be back.

"Aliens exist, you know." Soldier Boy chuckled. "You know how I know?"  
"No Jean, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me."  
"Because I met them., and they look just like we do. You'd never be able to tell the difference."  
"Why don't you bathe?"  
"You want to see me naked," she smiled.  
"Can't you answer a question?"  
"Do I smell bad?" Soldier Boy chuckled. "That's a yes," she muttered.  
"I was wondering if you were trying to get certain people to smell you, to know you 're here."  
"There's only me."  
"You know that isn't true."  
"I'll take that bath now," she sank down on the floor.

She woke up in a different cell, senses screaming that something was not right. "Where am I," she asked the empty space. There was a pane of one-way glass in front of her, and she slammed up against it.  
"Get Soldier Boy, I want to talk to him now!" She punched the glass until she had no strength left, and curled up on the floor. When Solider Boy came in, she regarded him warily. "What is this?"  
"We had to move you."  
"Why?"  
"After you took that bath, Logan couldn't smell you through the vents anymore and he went berserk."  
"If that were true, I'd find that hilarious," she replied with sarcasm.  
"It is true."  
"If it were true, you made a big fuckin' mistake, Soldier Boy," she chuckled, crawling over to her new bed.  
"Why is that?"  
"Because if he were alive and couldn't smell me or hear me anymore, you would have just really pisssed him off," she turned away and covered herself with a blanket.

"It's been two days, and you haven't eaten."  
"I don't feel like eating."  
"You have to eat."  
"To keep up my strength," she gave a harsh laugh.  
"I have a surprise for you."  
"I don't want it," Jean muttered.  
"It took a lot of convincing, don't look a gifthorse in the mouth, Jean."  
"Soldier Boy, what is it," she sat up, the blanket falling off her shoulder.  
"Look for yourself," his voice seemed to smile as he left the room.  
Jean looked over her shoulder, and saw Logan standing with his hands on the glass in between them. 'Have they touched you,' he mouthed. She shook her head no. 'Let me see,' he pointed to her clothes. She lifted the shirt up under her breasts, her waist had gotten much smaller since capture. 'Around,' he drew a clockwise circle on the glass, staring closely at her back as she pulled the shirt up to her neck, and then held the long shirt as high as possible to show him her thighs as well. 'You okay,' she asked. He shrugged. She could see the tension in his shoulders, drawing them up to his ears in a defensive pose, his chest heaved from exertion. Logan raked his eyes up and down her body, trying to take it all in. Then he shook his head roughly, trying to master the quivering of his chin. 'Jean,' his shoulders shook, pressing his head against the glass. She went to the glass wall and put one palm to his, the other to his forehead as if she could smooth his hair back to comfort him.  
Logan was gone the next day, but Soldier Boy came back.  
"You shouldn't have done that."  
"But I only wanted to see you happy."  
"That was not happy, that was even more miserable than I've been."  
"Where's Katherine Pryde?"  
"Kitty?"  
"Her power is moving through walls, correct?"  
"If it says so in your files."  
"Would she come here?"  
"She's only nineteen, would you come here at that age?"  
"She's been trained by you and Logan."  
"That doesn't mean we'd teach her to come rushing in all by herself to save us. Ever heard of 'everyone for themselves'?"  
"Ever heard of 'leave no man behind'?"  
"But if your whole squad or platoon or what have you is dying one by one, what do you do? Do you try and carry all the bodies yourself? Or do you try and make your life count by getting out of there?"


	2. Survival

It had been days since Solider Boy had come by, and that worried Jean. Their last conversation hadn't been pleasant, and she worried for Kitty out there alone. She worried for Logan, who looked weak and nearly dead in that cell next to hers.  
"Jean, hold out your hands." Jolted out of her thoughts, she hadn't noticed Solider Boy come in.  
"Why."  
"Hands, now!"  
She swallowed hard and did as she was told. He slapped a pair of cuffs on her, followed by ankle shackles. He lead her out the door, and the first thing she saw was a dead body.  
"What's going on," she gasped.  
"Logan got loose."  
"What do you want me to do?"  
"He's asking for you, I'm taking you to him."  
"What about the others?"  
"I already let them out."  
"We can't go anywhere, this is going to look bad on us," she covered her mouth as they passed another body.  
"We have tapes, they tortured Logan needlessly," he jerked open a door. There was Logan, getting dressed in black fatigues.  
"Let's move, Jean."

Solider Boy removed the cuffs and she dressed with no concern for modesty. "They'll be after you."  
"We know," Logan snarled, grabbing Jean's hand.  
"Thank you," she whispered before Logan knocked the solider out.

Together, Jean and Logan were unstoppable. He killed whoever got in their way while Jean used her telepathy to override the computer systems with correct codes. Survival instinct spurred them on far after they reached the outside. They ran for hours in the dark, tree branches scraping skin and snatching at hair and clothing. "I need...a minute," Jean finally wheezed as she felt weakness gripping her legs, her hand fell out of his as she slumped to the ground. Logan came to a stop and forced water down her throat, then gripped her calves in his hands and squeezed the cramps out.  
"We have to split up."  
"No."  
"I have to keep them off track."  
"I can't make it, not without you," she began to sob.  
"You will, because I say so," he pulled her to his chest. They clung to each other for a few desperate minutes.  
"Go find Jubliee and Kitty. If no one took them, they should be around the mansion still."  
She nodded, and stood up. "I'll find you, now run."

Jean slipped into the mansion hours later, exhausted and weak. The place had been ransacked, but she knew they wouldn't find much. Walking as quietly as possible in the heavy military boots she was given, she sent her mind out to search for the two young girls. 'Kitty, Jubliee? It's Jean.' She caught their frantic thoughts, and followed them down to the lower levels. Kitty was dragging Jubliee room to room, afraid they would be caught. 'Katherine, Jubilation! I don't have time for this, girls!' Jean looked into the glass doorway and caught her reflection, she looked like a soldier. Pulling off the hat, she let her limp hair fall around her shoulders, and continued to the infirmary. It was no use, Jean was too tired to keep trailing them all over the place. She sat on a hospital bed and lay back, wanting to rest her eyes for a moment. When she woke up, Jubliee and Kitty were on the bed with her, lying half on her because they were all full grown women on (at best) a two-person bed. She hugged them fiercely, kissing their heads.  
"It's been three weeks, we didn't think anyone would come back."  
"Only three?"  
"Where is everyone?"  
"Logan freed us."  
"Is he here?"  
"No, he's got his own mission to take care of. Mine was to come get you two."  
"Where are we going to go?"  
"I think it's best we leave the country for a little while," she answered quietly. "We have one hour."

They were out the door within thirty minutes at Jean's urging, and on their way to a contact she was introduced to through Logan years ago. This time it was by vehicle, that wasn't linked to Charles or any Mutant affiliation. All Jean had to do was slap the money down on the table to get the process going, and then walked over to the crate next to the couch. "Okay girls, who wants to go blond?"  
"I will," Kitty answered, catching a box of dye.  
"You want a light brown, Jubes?"  
"What are you gonna do with your-" Kitty's eyes grew wide in horror as Jean picked up a pair of scissors, grabbing her thick hair up in one hand, and hacked it off just above her fist.  
"You two get started. I have to finish up," she lay her sixteen inches of wavy red hair on the table and turned toward the mirror, starting to cut away more length. Jean's hand started to shake as she took another lock of hair in hand.  
"Let me, you don't want to end up lopsided," Jubliee took the scissors and finished up the back where Jean wouldn't be able to reach.  
"How do I look," Jean turned to Jubliee, her eyes filling with tears.  
"Logan would love this," she grinned.  
Jean turned back to the mirror, running a hand over the spiky pixie cut. "I look like a fairy," Jean muttered.  
"You look like a badass," Kitty grinned.  
"Go rinse out your hair. I'm gonna go get our stuff."  
"Whoa baby!"  
"Shut it, Parker. Did I get my money's worth," she examined the birth certificates, driver's licenses and passports over his shoulder.  
"Doubting me? Logan wouldn't take kindly to that."  
"Logan isn't here, I have to look out for myself," she smirked.  
Parker sat her down in front of a generic blue screen, snapping her photo. "We just need pictures of the other two."  
"Girls! Dry your hair and smile pretty for the camera," she shouted into the next room.  
Fifteen minutes later, they were completely new people.  
"Zeva," she handed Kitty her new papers.  
"Sakura," Jubliee grinned at her ultra-Japanese name.  
"Ford? You guys named me Ford," Jean leaned over the counter with a disbelieving look.  
"It's English, means 'road'," Parker informed her.  
"How are we gonna pull off being sisters," Kitty giggled nervously.  
"Sakura was adopted, our parents had you later in life," Jean replied easily.  
"You look younger with that hair."  
"I'm only twenty eight," she snapped.  
"Well your passport says you're twenty five."  
"I easily pass for twenty four, even when I had my long hair," she shouted at Parker. "Fix it!"  
"Yes, Amazon Queen."  
"Flatterer," she rolled her eyes.  
"Je...Ford?"  
"Yeah?"  
"You're different," Kitty bit her lip as if she spoke out of turn.  
"It's still me," she smiled at Kitty. They went straight to the airport after that, and had to wait two hours for their flight out.  
"Where are we going?"  
"New Zeland," Jean came back from the bathroom in a pair of jeans and a tank top, she decided to keep the boots for the time being.  
"Couldn't we go to France," Kitty grumbled.  
"No, Zeva." The sight of uniformed men made Jean's stomach turn. "Fuck," she hissed. They were checking passports.  
"What is it?"  
"Do you have your identification handy?"  
"Yes," they echoed.  
"Good," she kept watch of them from the corner of her eye.  
"Afternoon, miss."  
"Hey," Jean smiled.  
"Do you mind if we take a look at your passports?"  
"'Course not, girls get 'em out." They grouped the passports together and eyed each of them closely.  
"Sisters?"  
"Can't you tell," Jean replied easily, though with the tone that it wasn't polite to cross that line.  
"Have a good flight."  
"Thank you," Jean took the passports back with a nod.  
"Ugh, I wanna throw up."  
"It's okay," she patted Jubliee's knee.


	3. Flight

It was easy to say Jean had been awake for days, and the plane trip had to be the worst part of it. If she were moving, doing something other than sitting in-between Kitty and Jubliee, she'd be fine. But the book she bought wasn't catching her wandering attention, and she couldn't sleep. It wouldn't be safe to really sleep until she had the girls in a safe place. So she tucked the blankets around the girl's shoulders for the tenth time and stared up at the ceiling. At least she had time to think about their next step. Once they got out of the airport, she'd find a hotel for them, and start researching places for them to go. She kicked herself mentally for leaving Logan without planning where to meet, but they would have lost time arguing over where to go and how to get there. He wouldn't have let her hear the end of it if she waited in the mansion for him to come along. A still target is already caught. But he promised to find her, how would he do that now? Not even Parker knew where they were going, so that would be a dead end. Still, Logan had his ways, and he also wouldn't like her worrying about him when she had Jubliee and Kitty to think about. Feeling her eyes getting heavy, she went to sleep thinking hard.  
"Ford." Jean jerked awake, thinking she was still in the cell.  
"They're gonna let us off in a few minutes."  
"Thanks," she covered her face with her hands.  
"Do you want something?"  
"Water."  
Kitty pushed a bottle of water into her hands and she gulped the entire thing down. "Must be dehydrated."  
Going through customs, Jean saw a large poster with the heading of KNOWN MUTANTS, and forced herself to look. A few CAPTURED stamps covered the faces of people she had met. She had to bite back a proud grin at seeing Logan at the very top, as the most dangerous of them all.  
"Why-" Kitty began to ask, though Jean heard the question in her head.  
"I don't know," she murmured, searching a second time for her own picture. It wasn't there.

Jean fell onto the hotel bed, but her nerves were so frayed she couldn't get comfortable. "I'm gonna get a shower." She stripped off her clothes, avoiding the mirror completely as she stepped under the hot water. Having no more than sponge baths in the prison, she scrubbed her skin a few times over with a washcloth until she was a livid pink from neck to ankles. Hair as short as hers took very little shampoo, but she still used a generous amount to get it clean. The steamed room made her feel a little lightheaded, so she made the water lukewarm and sat on the shower floor.  
Finally leaving the solace of the bathroom, she looked on the drawn and sleeping faces of Kitty and Jubliee. They lay curled up on their sides, turned toward each other, appearing much younger than their nineteen years. Comfort was what they needed, and it was Jean's responsibility to see that it was fulfilled. Dressing in a t-shirt and shorts, she crawled between them and fell asleep.


	4. Haven

Jean stood on the shoulder of the road, thumb to the wind. Jubliee and Kitty sat on their bags, watching as another semi-truck passed them by. Their money had run out days ago, and Jean resorted to stealing whatever she could.  
"I'm tired."  
"I know girls," she sighed.  
"It's not your fault, Jean."  
"Yes, it is. I should know how to take care of you better."  
"You haven't been forced out into the world with two teenage girls before."  
"I have a college degree! Three of them!"  
"I don't think they offer this course in college."

A green pickup truck was quickly approaching, and Jean put her tired arm out again in vain. Her heart began to thump wildly as it appeared the truck was slowing down. "Please please please," she pleaded into the wind. The truck stopped, a man in his sixties leaned against the steering wheel.  
"Where you headed?"  
"Anywhere," Jean dived into the older man's mind. He eyed the girls, who were standing a few feet behind Jean, and motioned with his head for them to jump in back. Thanking him quickly, she helped the girls into the truck bed.

"End of the road," the man's voice woke Jean abruptly. The sky had grown dark and heavy with clouds, already dropping rain in pattering rhythms on the dry ground. Jean woke Kitty and Jubliee, trying to rub the exhaustion from her eyes. "Where are we," she asked, strapping her bag to her back.  
"My place."  
"And the road..." she looked over her shoulder.  
"Not a good idea to hitch here, wasn't a good idea for you to hitch where I picked you up either."  
"I didn't know."  
"Come on inside, you can stay for tonight. Then I'll drive you to the next town in the morning," his tone was gruff, but it held no irritation of opening his home to them.  
"Thank you."  
"Best get inside before we're drenched," the man turned and walked to the house.  
Inside, the girls stuck to Jean, waiting for her to tell them what to do. "Sit, it's fine," she replied over her shoulder, dropping her own bag. Jean wandered into the kitchen, getting a curious look from the man.  
"Don't have much, it's just me and my nephew here."  
"You run this place by yourselves?"  
"Don't need many," he shook his head.  
"Do you mind? I could put something together. I owe you for the ride and a place to stay."  
"Good luck," he reached into the fridge and pulled out a beer.  
Jean searched the cupboards and fridge, finding more than enough food for ten people six months down the road. "This is not much," she asked with a hint of a smile.  
"None of that junk that you kids eat," he sat at the dinner table with a tired groan.  
Jean bit into an apple, wiping the juice from her chin. "We aren't picky eaters."  
A fresh chicken went into the oven first. Then, she retrieved a large pot from under the sink and began cutting up vegetables, adding stock and herbs to the mix. And just because she couldn't help herself, she started a pot of macaroni and cheese, a staple food of Xavier's Mansion.  
"What's your name," he asked after watching her check the pot.  
"Ford, yours?"  
"Hank Macarthur. Everyone calls me Mac."  
"Well Mac, dinner will be done in an hour."  
"Want something to drink," he picked up his beer.  
"I'll get it," she took out a glass and filled it with water. "Why isn't it a good idea to hitch here?"  
"The Meyers. If they steal livestock form me, I'd hate to think what they'd do to you three alone on the road." A chill went down her spine, thinking of what could have happened.

Jean set plates next to the counter, and felt three pairs of eyes on her back. Even Mac, who was the type to be uninterested with everything, looked eager as the girls did.  
"Yes it's ready." She stepped aside as they filled their plates, getting to the table when a good portion of each plate was already clear.  
"Uncle Mac!"  
"In here, kid."  
A handsome man in his late twenties came into the room well soaked from the storm.  
"You have guests," he asked with an incredulous grin.  
"They were hitchin' out on the highway."  
"Good thing you got to 'em before the Meyers did. Is that macaroni and cheese?"  
"I made plenty," Jean smiled.  
"Thanks."

The next morning, Jean was up early making breakfast.  
"Coffee just got finished," she spoke over her shoulder.  
"Ford, I was thinkin'. You and your sisters should stay."  
"What?"  
"It would be better if I knew you were here safe," he sipped his coffee and nodded approvingly.  
"That's very kind, but you don't have to do that."  
"You don't have a job. Justin and I will teach you everything. Free room and board."  
"When do we start?"


	5. Tricks

The first month at Mac's went by in a blur of long hard days, sunup to sunset. Kitty and Jubliee had a better time of it, left with energy to spare at the end of the day; but for Jean, long hours and little sleep left her exhausted, most often found on the couch asleep when the day was done.  
Justin was kind enough to move into his uncle's house and let them use his place just a few feet away. It was small, but it had three bedrooms for them to have their own spaces, and they were safe. As everyone adjusted to their new roles, Mac was easier about leaving them to work on their own. But first, he wanted them to know how to protect themselves, which Jean found very funny until she saw what he meant by that.  
"Here," he held out a shotgun to Jean.  
"What is this for?"  
"If you're gonna be here, you need to know how to shoot."  
"You're acting like this is the old West," she joked dryly.  
"With the Meyers, it might as well be."  
Jean didn't bother to ask why he didn't call the police, Mac was a proud man, he settled his problems on his own. She turned as Justin's pickup pulled up next to Mac's, with the girls next to him. Mac nodded at her disapproving expression, but took out more rifles of a smaller size. "They have to learn, too."  
"I know," she muttered.  
Justin watched Jean take a few shots. "What is it, Justin," she asked between her last two strikes on a target.  
"You might want to move your stance a little."  
"Like this?"  
"No, like-" he put his hands to her hips, making Jean's cheeks flush unexpectedly.  
"Thank you." When she was tired, she sat next to Mac and watched Justin help the girls with aim, handing the gun back.  
"It's yours. Carry it on you at all times."  
Something about that reminded her of Logan, and she teared up unexpectedly.  
"Thank you."  
"Ford. What you're runnin' from, it isn't going to follow you here, is it?"  
"No," she lied. She wasn't sure if they'd be safe here, but if it put Mac and Justin in danger, she'd have the girls long gone before any trouble came to this place.  
"Okay Justin, let's head back to the house."

After dinner, Jean stood out on the porch with a cup of coffee, looking out on the dark purple sky.  
"Seems like you're a million miles away," Justin walked over with a smile.  
"I think I was," she admitted.  
"Ford."  
"Yeah?"  
"You want to go out sometime?"  
She paused, unsure what to say. Jean was in love with Logan, but Ford was unattached. Who knows how long it would be before Logan came around, if he ever did. It couldn't hurt having a friend. "How about Friday?"  
"Mac has me doing stuff then."  
"What stuff?"  
"Spying on the Meyers."  
"Can't go alone."  
"He wouldn't want you out there, Ford."  
"I can handle myself, Justin. The girls will stay in the house with him, I haven't been on a mission in a long time," she smiled.  
"I'll run it by him first."  
"Sure. I'm gonna head to bed."  
"Let me take that," he took the cup from her hand.  
"Thanks."

Jean leaned back on her elbows, looking into the night sky.  
"Nice, isn't it?"  
"Very."  
She leaned into Justin, enjoying the closeness of another person sitting beside her. They went without a fire, to keep their location to themselves, but the thermos of coffee and a heavy jacket kept the chill away. Every time she let herself relax, the thought of Logan popped into her head. Time and again, she brushed it away, only to have it remind her that this man and this place wasn't her first choice. She wanted to be with Logan, in whatever Hell he was in, just so she knew she was still Jean Grey. But he told her to go with the girls, and that fact made her angry. He treated her like his equal in all other aspects of their lives, and yet when it came down to it, he chose the Warrior role for himself and chose for her as well, the Woman.  
"The girls aren't too happy with us out here, are they?"  
Jean snorted. To say they weren't happy was an understatement. When they found out, they acted like children of divorced parents, angry that their mother was going out with someone other than their father. The three Mutants were still not speaking when Jean walked out the door that afternoon.  
"They hinted to me that there was someone else, is that true?"  
She sighed. "Justin, we were all close to someone, and he's gone now."  
"Your husband?"  
She shook her head with a startled chuckle. Logan, a husband? Anything more than a lover was a stretch, and they never gotten that far.  
"Logan was our...protector."  
"How did he die?"  
"We aren't sure he's dead, only that he's gone."  
"So he abandoned you?"  
"In a way," she nodded.  
"I can't imagine anyone abandoning you-" his sentence was cut off with a touch of Jean's lips on his.  
"I appreciate your concern, but I'd rather not talk about it anymore." Justin nodded, and Jean raised her eyes to the sky once more.


	6. Dark

Jean and Justin were in town getting groceries, when the Meyers boys approached. "So this is the girl we've heard about. Heard that old man had to hire her to get her to pay any attention to you."  
"Well there's a lot of talk, Frank. Doesn't mean it's true," he answered with a smile.  
"Seems like it," Derek reached out and fingered her tank top strap.  
"Hands off," she stated.  
"I do what I like."  
"So do I," she answered darkly, giving him a dirty look followed by some mental bullying.  
"Got daggers in that stare," Derek rubbed his eyes hard.  
"And a real one in my boot," she tapped her heel on the floor. They moved on, but not without muttering some things to Justin that he apologized for later. "Why apologize, you didn't say those things," she loaded the bags into the bed of the truck.  
"Because that's what a gentleman does."  
"I've heard worse," she rolled her eyes.  
"Where have you heard worse, Ford?"  
"I'm not perfect, Justin."  
Jean got into the truck, slamming the door. He started the hour drive home, thinking hard, and realizing not for the first time that he had never thought so hard about a person before. The last year had been hard, his frustration at her reluctance to talk about herself, or her sisters, or anything other than work. "Where do these moods come from?"  
"They just happen, it isn't because of you."  
"Does it have to do with him?"  
"Not this shit again," she snarled. It was quiet in the truck for awhile, Jean's jaw working hard as she tried to calm down.  
"I can't get to you."  
"Because you don't need to, Justin."  
"Why not?"  
"There's nothing to know, nothing you need to know," she lashed out in anger toward him.  
"That's what you always say! Jesus, you're in your twenties and you can't say there's nothing to know about you!"  
"It's me right now, not my past twenty something years! Let me be!"  
"Is Ford even your real name?"  
"You know by now it's not, and don't ask me again."  
"I can't be with you like this, Ford."  
"Then let's fucking end it, because I'm sick of trying to keep my life to myself," Jean muttered, staring out the window.  
"Are you serious?"  
She gave him a steady look. "We aren't in love, we like each other enough. Please, before we hate each other."  
He nodded.

A week later, Jean was lying in bed when she heard the sound of a gunshot. She flung herself out of bed, grabbing her rifle as she ran out the door. The Meyers were finally interested in the livestock Mac had accumulated since they came.  
"Get back in the house, Ford!" Mac let off a warning shot, getting a bullet to the leg in retaliation. In only her nightgown and flannel shirt, Jean aimed for Frank and squeezed the trigger. Long built up rage let loose in her as she approached him, kneeling on the ground, wounded shoulder leaving a dark stain on his gray shirt. "Get the fuck off this land."  
"Fuck you, bitch."  
She swung the gun around, and knocked him on the head with the butt of the rifle. "Take your goddamn brother and get outta here," she yelled to Derek, turning back to go to bed, leaving her back vulnerable.  
Derek aimed for the center of her back, and Justin yelled to Jean. She sensed the hammer click, and jammed the gun with her mind, never looking back.  
"What happened," Kitty and Jubliee sat on the couch in the dark.  
"Go back to bed, girls. I took care of it," she smiled.


	7. Not Alone

Kitty jumped up from the television as soon as Jean came through the front door. "Logan's been spotted in Australia!"  
"What," she asked, following Kitty to the living room. The local news chatter went on about a dangerous Mutant being sighted in Sydney. They showed Logan's prison photo, which made Jean's stomach jump, but none from the people who allegedly saw him. Wasn't that what camera phones were for nowadays? "It's been two years, just another hoax."  
"But he's so close!"  
"It's probably some other guy who looks a little like him, just like all the others," she hit the power button the remote. "Go get Jubes, we're going for a weekend in the city."  
It was nice to distract herself from letting Justin down. Though she cared for him, he wasn't Logan and all the energy she had spent convincing herself Justin was a better choice had been for nothing. Logan was on her mind more than ever, and would have been even without constant media speculation. But she refused to continue her fantasy that he was combing the continents searching for them. Living in a land of make-believe could get her and the girls killed. The girls nearly exploded on the streets of the city, chattering happily as they hopped from window to window. She trailed along behind them, smiling as they dragged her into stores to try on clothes. Jean used to love shopping, and she felt a little pang as it seemed her interest had faded.  
_What did you do to yourself, you look like a lesbian._  
Jean almost fell over herself at the voice in her head, trying not to look like a crazy person as she tried to get a read on the Mutant's location. _Emma? Where are you?_  
_Across the street, in the cafe._  
Jean glanced over, and saw the slight lift of an index finger on a to-go cup. Emma was wearing a dark brunette wig, still dressed like a model. _Emma, you don't know how good it is to see you._  
_Your...outfit is horrendous. But at least your fashion sense hasn't changed, nice to have consistency._ A frown crossed Jean's lips, refusing to rise to the usual bait. Emma gave a tired sigh. _Doesn't pain me to see you, either._  
Jean was glad for the distance between them, because she unexpectedly teared up upon seeing the icy woman. Through their connection, she felt Emma spot Kitty and Jubliee.  
_How is it playing Mommy?_  
_The girls are wonderful._  
_They look like you haven't screwed them up too badly._  
_Would you like to have a turn, then?_  
_It was bad enough working with that...what did you call him, 'arrogant little upstart'?_  
_Logan__?! Where is he?_  
_Haven't seen him in four months._  
"Ford! Ford, what are you doing?"  
Jean jumped as the girls swarmed around her. "Sorry, distracted."  
_Looks like our chat has come to an end._  
_Take care, Emma._

Afraid that someone was possibly tailing Emma, Jean loaded the girls up a day early and made for home. They seemed to understand her anxious mood, and packed their things instead of picking a fight to stay the whole weekend. Back at home, Jean barely reached for the doorknob, and knew something was wrong.  
"Get back in the car."  
"Jean..."  
"Do it," she demanded, closing the door in their faces.  
Holding her breath, she pressed herself against the wall, silently thanking the girls for cleaning up before they left. Reaching her mind out, she lurched forward as it touched upon a familiar mental wall. She found him in her room, asleep on the bed. He didn't even bother to take off his boots or jacket. Kitty and Jubliee came through the wall behind her.  
"Oh my God," Kitty breathed.  
"Let him rest," Jean whispered, turning away like nothing had changed.

Unable to sleep on the couch, she found herself walking back to her room repeatedly, making sure he was still there. While her hair had grown out to her shoulders, he hadn't changed at all. There was no way for her to tell how many times he had been injured unless she went into his mind. Looking closer, she realized he had some of her old hair tangled around his fingers. He slept so heavily he didn't even move when she sat next to him, and still when she reached out to touch the leather of his jacket. For so long she thought of how they'd meet again, and now that it was here she didn't want him to wake up. She was afraid she had changed too much, that he had become lost in his own head, drawn here only by instinct and not by memory or love or anything.  
"Told you I'd find you," he breathed, the only sign he had woken up.  
"You took long enough."  
"I didn't expect you to get so good at hiding."  
"If I didn't make it hard for you to find me, anyone could have gotten to us first."  
He turned on his back with a gruff laugh that rumbled in his chest. "Two years."  
She nodded.  
"Well," he chuckled.  
"Well what," she asked.  
"Are you just gonna sit there like a virgin on her wedding night," Logan smirked.  
Her mouth dropped open, unable to find a witty comeback. Logan sat up, using her open mouth to his advantage as she placed a hungry kiss on her lips. "How long are you staying?"  
"Long as I can and the three of you stay safe," he answered, skimming her jaw with his fingers.  
"What did you do all this time," Jean traced his eye socket, seeing that same tortured expression from the cell they kept him in.  
"I did what I had to do."  
"So it's best I don't ask," she muttered, turning away from him.  
"Jean, you'll see one day." Too tired to argue, Logan sighed as he got up to sleep on the couch. "Don't go."  
Logan looked down at her with dark eyes, watching as she made herself comfortable on her side. He took off his jacket and boots to lay behind her, nuzzling into the back of her neck.

Kitty and Jubliee were talking in excited tones at the breakfast table, while Jean shuffled around the corner for a cup of coffee. They waited until she had the cup filled and secure in both hands.  
"Is he still here?"  
She nodded, curling up on the couch.  
"Is he staying?"  
"The adults aren't awake enough for questions," Logan muttered, sitting next to Jean as she offered her cup to him. A knock at the door caught them all by surprise, and Logan disappeared into her bedroom.  
"Hey Ford," Mac nodded her way.  
"What brings you by?"  
"Thought I saw someone on the property last night, you have any problems?"  
"None."  
"I'm goin' into town, you still comin'?" She nodded. "See you then, girl."  
Jean sagged against the closed door, dangling the coffee cup by her fingers.  
"We'll be good," they answered reflexively.  
"Uh huh," she smiled wryly, filling the cup again before going into her bedroom.  
"How long you gonna be gone," Logan asked, taking the cup from her.  
"Most of the day. You'll have the place to yourself."  
"Where the girls goin'?"  
"They have chores," she moved around the room, gathering clothes for the day.  
"Can you trust the old man, if he finds out?"  
"I don't know."  
"You don't know," he growled.  
"He knows we're hiding from something, and he hasn't given us up. That's something."  
"What will you do if you can't trust him?"  
"I'll do what I have to," she answered him cryptically with his same reason.  
"Oh no, don't you get that way with me-" he grabbed the bathroom door as she tried shutting it.  
"Tough, that's what you get," she smirked, shoving him back with her power.


	8. Family

Logan had never been the type to give the kids attention unless he was teaching or doling out discipline, but as he watched the girls with Justin, he felt jealousy. This man, who didn't know their real names, was playing with them like they were his own. Maybe later he could try spending some time with them, not growling in annoyance. A pickup truck rumbled down the dirt road, and it wasn't the old man's. He saw Jubliee immediately grab a shotgun from the bed of Justin's truck.  
"Our lucky day. Mom and Grandpa are out."  
"Girls, inside."  
Logan heard Kitty scream, and ran out the door without a second's thought. Justin was on the ground, struggling under the boot that was on the back of his neck, and Kitty was being muscled into the truck. To her credit, she was putting up one hell of a fight, gouging the man's face with her fingernails as she tried to kick him anywhere she could reach.  
"Logan!"  
Unleashing his claws would be the worst thing for Jean and the girls, so he settled on picking up the shotgun, but his finger barely touched the trigger when Jubliee shot the same man Jean did months before. Kitty dropped to the ground and scrambled over to Logan, burying her face in his chest. Jubliee dropped her gun and staggered over to them, dazed from using the weapon on a living person. Justin looked up as the Meyers drove off, his face covered in blood.  
"You're Logan?"  
"Get inside," he told the girls, giving Justin a hand up.  
He stalked into the bathroom, looking for a first-aid kit.  
"But you're that Mutant..." Justin spoke as Logan passed him by.  
"Now isn't the time to put the pieces together, Justin," Kitty remarked.  
"You okay, kid," Logan asked Jubliee, who was staring at her hands.  
She shook her head, starting to look like she was gonna be sick.  
"You did good," he smirked, cleaning up Kitty's face.  
"If you hadn't been here, Logan..." Kitty's bottom lip quivered.  
"But I was."  
"How do you know Jean," Justin asked.  
"She helped me when I broke out, we're old friends," Logan dabbed ointment onto the cut on Kitty's neck.  
"You're the reason she had to run, you abandoned her to the-"  
"If I stayed with them, they'd be dead," he growled at the young man. "Go clean up, Sakura's gettin queasy at the sight of ya."  
Justin marched into the bathroom, scrubbing the blood from his face. "She said you abandoned her and the girls."  
"It was less than ideal circumstan-why am I tellin' you this?"  
"Unlike you, I've been protecting these girls for two years."  
"Did they kick you a little too hard, because I'm the biggest target on the planet right now. Would I put my family on the line just to be with them?"  
Jubliee and Kitty looked at each other at the mention of the word 'family'. Back at home, he would never have uttered that sentiment to anyone, and probably not even to himself. Something had certainly changed Jean and Logan, some for the better and some...they just weren't sure of yet. Justin seemed to have run out of arguments with Logan, so he settled on sitting in the armchair. He watched Logan interact with the girls; they had some sort of fear mixed in with awe in their eyes as he tended their hurts, all of them curious and unsure when he sat between them on the couch.

Justin jerked his head off the back of the chair hours later, the girls curled up on the couch with Logan, who sat there just as Justin had seen him when he nodded off.  
"They're home," Justin muttered, heading out the door. "Ford!"  
Jean turned around, her pleasant smile disappeared at the sight of Justin's bruised face.  
"The girls, where are the girls?"  
"With Logan."  
Her knees trembled at the anger in his eyes. "Are they all right?"  
"If Logan hadn't been hiding out here, the Meyers would have gotten them both."  
"Are you okay," she swallowed hard as he brushed her hand away.  
"You tell my uncle about him. If you don't, I will."  
"I already have, on the way back. He saw Logan last night, knew I was lying."  
"He has to leave."  
"Mac said he's welcome, you take it up with your uncle," she stepped around Justin and ran into the house, coming upon the unusual sight of Logan carrying Kitty to her bed.  
Joining him in the room, she tucked them in, taking note of every bruise and cut they had. Turning off the light, Logan took her by the arm and left the room.  
"I'm gonna kill 'em."  
"Logan, it's not your fight," she placed her hand on his chest.  
He had his hand on the small of her back to draw her close when he remembered the conversation he and Justin had earlier.  
"You told that baby-faced kid I abandoned you."  
"I was angry and lonely, I felt like you just wanted me out of the way."  
"I did want you out of the way, so I didn't have to worry that I'd get you killed!"  
"I'm capable of taking care of myself!"  
"That's why I had you take the girls, you could take care of them. I wouldn't be able to!"  
"You could have at least given me the choice, Logan," she pushed past him, heading into the bedroom. "Maybe you shouldn't have come here."  
"Don't try and get rid of me now, damnit."  
"What have you been doing? Where is everyone else, Logan?"  
He rubbed his jaw hard, staring off at nothing.  
"Bobby and Jean-Paul just recently joined Storm in India, had a close call in Canada about three weeks ago. Hank is in South Africa, using his practice to get Mutants help to keep them undetected-"  
"I saw Emma," Jean interrupted.  
"Where?"  
"In the city, just the other day. Said you worked together."  
"When she wasn't making snide comments she was actually a help."  
"So what does Charles have you doing next?"  
"I didn't do this on Charles' orders, Jean."  
"You organized this all on your own?"  
"Don't sound so surprised," he smirked. "Even Charles had some faith in me."  
"You know I didn't mean-" the words died in her throat as he waved the apology off.  
"Jean, I need some sleep."  
"You haven't told me about Rogue, or Theresa. Have you spoken to Kurt?"  
"I've lost track of them," he sighed, stripping off his clothes.  
Jean remained where she sat as Logan pulled the covers back and lay down.  
"You comin' to bed?"  
"I'm not tired yet," she replied, leaving him alone.  
The redhead was tired, but her mind was spinning with thoughts and worries, attempting to leave herself behind by meditating on the floor. She had left the practice behind long ago, when it had once been part of her daily life. She lit a candle, placing it on the coffee table so she could sit on the floor, level with the flame.  
Letting her eyes unfocus, the flame blurred at the edges, eyes drifting shut slowly. With her mind open, she kept the image of the flame at the front of her thoughts, letting the warmth from it dissolve the tension from her body like sinking into a bath. A strained sound drew her out of that peaceful place, opening her eyes to the candle nearly burnt completely down. The sound came again, and Jean unfolded her legs, padding softly into the bedroom.  
Logan lay on his back, fists clenched into the blankets, the cords of his neck standing out as he struggled. He was having a nightmare.  
"Logan."  
He spoke harshly, words slurred together as he let the claws of his right hand loose. Barely able to whisper 'not again', she was slammed up against the wall, his hand around her throat and right arm drawn back to deliver a killing stab-  
"Oh my God!"  
They both looked to the door, Jubliee and Kitty standing there wide-eyed with terror. The tight slits of Logan's eyes widened to mirror theirs, and he backed away, collapsing onto the bed. Jean went to him, his whole body shaking under her hands.  
"Jean..."  
"It's all right, go back to bed," she reassured the girls, talking softly to Logan.  
"Did I hurt you?"  
"No."  
He didn't trust the tone in her voice and pushed himself up, tugging her clothes away to make sure, looking over her skin frantically for signs that he had wounded her.  
"Are you all right," she cupped his face in her hand, relieved that he sank into the comforting touch.  
"C'mere," he grabbed her, laying down on the bed.  
She wrapped her arms and legs around him as the shaking started again, stroking his skin slowly as he buried his face into her neck. 


	9. ShortLived

Justin was waiting for Jean the moment she stepped out of the small house the next morning.  
"How did he find you?"  
"He's good at what he does."  
"Is he the reason why you ended things."  
"Justin, he knows me. It's not good for you to know me like he does."  
"He said you were old friends."  
"We are," she nodded.  
"How long have you been together?"  
"It's never been like that, timing was bad," she sighed.  
Justin watched her, understanding that look that so often eluded his thinking. "He's leaving soon."  
"It's best for everyone right now. I need to get to work."  
"You're in love with him."  
"Yes," she answered, and headed to the barn to begin her day.

Jean felt bad for Logan, stuck in the house like a prisoner when Mac had acres of land to roam around; but it wouldn't be good for him to be seen and bring his hosts under further suspicion. She could feel his eyes on her, following from window to window as she went about her day. After last night she thought keeping her distance from Logan would be a better choice, but for his wounded pride or her safety, she wasn't entirely sure. Her stoamch was just beginning to complain from skipping lunch when she felt a strong arm wrap around her waist.  
"Logan," she hissed, nearly knocking the pitchfork into his head as she spun around to face him.  
"Jean," he lodged the pitchfork into a bale of hay.  
"You shouldn't be out here," she looked over his shoulder with a worried expression.  
"Nobody saw me."  
"Good," she pushed him away gently. "Bored enough to offer some help, then?"  
"No," he grabbed her arm carefully.  
"What is it?"  
"Read my mind," he raised her hand to his temple, holding her fingers there with his hand.  
Closing her eyes, she sank into his surface thoughts. They came so fast it was like fighting whitewater rapids; some would argue he had attention issues, but Jean knew he just couldn't stop thinking, analyzing, planning. Adjusting quickly to his familiar stream of thought, he concentrated on a certain thing and she grabbed it like an errant kite string, letting it suck her in.  
Flashes of recent memory engulfed her. Their incarceration and escape, their parting, and his life on the run. He ached to see her face in a crowd as he blended in, wondering if she was just feet away as he hopped contintents. The it skipped to just that morning, seeing her tell Justin she was in love with Logan, and he pushed her out of his mind.  
Standing there with that question in his eyes, she nodded and stepped toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He held her close, able to feel her heart racing as his hand traced along her back.  
"Do any of them come to check on you," Logan's mouth brushed over her ear.  
"Not often."  
Logan raised his head, looking at the loft above them.  
"I'm all sweaty," she reasoned.  
"Doesn't matter," he muttered, taking her hand.  
"I smell like a horse," she tried again as he put her ahead of him at the ladder.  
"No, you don't," he jerked his head to tell her to climb up.  
They climbed up into the loft, and Jean was surprised to see that an old blanket had been left there from the time Justin took the girls there and scared them half to death with stories that even Jean had shuddered at. That memory faded as Logan turned her to face him, bringing his mouth to hers. Everything seemed to go still when he kissed her, the feel of his lips were all she could concentrate on, so that she was surprised to find them laying on the blanket, clothes gone. He pulled back to look down at her, stroking her hip the same way that she had tried to calm him the night before. It was then that she realized she was shaking. She raised her head to kiss him, and felt him sink into her body. Sex for Jean used to be a pleasant enough experience, though she always had her mind clearly present and accounting for everything going on. This however was nothing like she had known, his thoughts invaded her mind without her reaching for them, leaving Jean in a severely heightened state of want for him. With him in control, she dug her fingers into his back, trying not to make too much noise as each of his movements drew her close to the edge. He groaned low in his throat, nipping the side of her neck with his teeth.  
A small rush caused Jean to cry out, and Logan mistook the noise for discomfort, trying to slow his pace.  
"No," she groaned in desperation, pressing her heel into the back of his thigh.  
He growled, the strength of his thrusts increasing until her back lifted off the blanket, pressing into his chest; his own pleasure slammed into her head, drawing out her own physical response. Logan nuzzled his nose against hers, causing her to stir and capture his lips in a long kiss. He stayed there, lying on top of her as their kisses became soft and short in their weaker state. Jean drifted off to sleep, letting Logan pull her onto her side with him.

Jean was draped across his body, running her fingers through the hair on his chest.  
"I didn't realize how lonely I was," she thought out loud.  
"You and me both, Red."  
"I missed this."  
"We never did this before," he smirked.  
"I missed being myself."  
"This has the added bonus of being yourself naked," he chuckled.  
"Logan,"she rolled her eyes with a laugh.  
"I detect a hint of a question, Red."  
Unnerved with his talent for knowing her moods too well, she slipped from his grip and turned over, lying on her stomach and hoping he'd take the hint and let it go. A sigh escaped her lips when she felt him turn toward her, tracing a slow line down her spine with one finger.  
"Can't do that, you know I don't take avoidance well."  
"Will we ever be together?"  
He sighed, and she could tell he raked a hand through his hair. "I don't know."  
"Why did you take me off that list?"  
"You ask a lot of questions," he kissed a spot behind her ear.  
"I want to know."  
"So you and the girls could find a place to hide and stay still."  
"I think you like them," Jean tried not to smile as she spoke.  
"They're okay," he grinned.  
"Don't just disappear when you have to leave," she looked over her shoulder at him.  
"I won't," he kissed her shoulderblade, keeping his eyes locked to hers.  
Two pairs of feet running into the barn brought them back to the real world.  
"Shit," Jean muttered.  
"Jean, you in here?"  
"Yeah, I'll be right there," she called, gathering up her clothes.  
"Logan's gone, did he leave?"  
"I'm here, too," he smirked as Jean stopped getting dressed to smack him for speaking up.  
"We'll come back-" they started to back out as Jean came to the ladder.  
"Let's go into the house, he'll join us in a minute."  
Logan slipped through the door a few minutes later, smiling almost sheepishly as Kitty and Jubliee grinned at him, and walked very casually over to Jean to kiss her. The girls laughed, and Jean even felt Logan's chest vibrate with a supressed chuckle.  
"What's so funny?"  
"I don't know, ask those two," he shrugged.  
The calm moment was disrupted as Mac knocked on the door.  
"Hey..." Jean greeted him.  
"Need to talk to him,"he answered.  
"Come in, I have to start dinner. Let's go girls," she gave Logan a kiss as she left.  
Jean was trying to ignore the girls furtive talking and Justin's silence as she seasoned the steaks, blinking in surprise to see Logan coming in behind Mac.  
"Jean," Logan called hoarsely.  
She grabbed his hand and took him into the bathroom, shutting them inside.  
"What."  
"I have to leave tonight. Those guys who tried to take Kitty are starting to talk."  
Jean nodded, kissing him fiercely so he wouldn't have to see her eyes fill up with tears. When her desire overpowered the deep ache of sadness in her chest, she broke away slowly.  
"After dinner, I'll tell the girls," he panted.  
It was silent at the dinner table, no one tried to make conversation. Mac and Justin acted like this was any other night, and Jean was grateful for them in their lives. Kitty and Jubliee picked at their food, knowing something was wrong.  
"Girls, let's go," Logan announced quietly, taking them back to the small house.  
Jean started cleaning up, but Justin stopped her with a hand on her wrist.  
"He's got to go, you only have a little time left together."  
"Thank you," she whispered, running across the yard.  
Kitty and Jubliee were crying as she came in, Logan had a comforting hand on each girl's shoulder. In his eyes she could see regret, to see them hurting gave him the same pain. Without a word, Jean joined them on the couch. Logan allowed Jubliee to lean into his side, and he placed his hand on Jean's cheek, smiling as she turned to kiss the center of his palm.  
When darkness came, Logan pulled on his jacket and shouldered his bag. He took his time hugging the girls goodbye, and then approached Jean.  
"I'm gonna be back," he told Jean, staring deeply into her eyes.  
"I know, be safe."  
He crushed her mouth to his, like if he kissed her hard enough he would be able to taste her in the days and weeks and probably months away from Jean.  
"If they try to touch the girls again-"  
"I'll see to it personally."  
He nodded and kissed her again, then ducked out into the night. 


	10. Fade

Jean stared at the television screen in despair. Logan couldn't have been captured, it was a mistake. He had only left a week ago. But the live footage was of him, she knew there could be no mistake his pacing, the way he held his jaw taut and hands clenched, looking out from under dangerous hooded eyes. His sentence was carried out within two hours, the execution set for eight that evening. Her mind screamed to do something, but she had no way to go to him in time with no Blackbird to rely on. So she sat still, watching the crawl on the news channel, praying she'd see a report of his escape. Justin had taken the girls away at some point she couldn't be sure of, leaving Jean with Mac.

The ticking of the hall clock grew unbearably loud as the last minute of Logan's life was described by the newscaster, and her whole world went black.

"You have to drink something," Mac urged.

"Leave me alone."

"Don't make me take you to the hospital."

"My real name is Jean Grey, and I'm a telepath. I can stop you."

"I don't care who you are or what you can do, I have my own willpower."

"You aren't that stubborn," she muttered.

"Those girls need you."

"I can't take care of them anymore," she covered her face with her arms.

"Jean-"

"I want to die."

"Then do it somewhere else," he replied, leaving the room.

She did want to die, seeing his dead body on the screen had broken something in her. The strength she used to have was lost. But her power remained. Forcing her thoughts farther out than she ever dared to, she found that Emma was still in the city.

_Emma. Come take the girls._

_I don't want to be an auntie._

_I'm serious, take them._

_Jean..._

_Get out of my head._

_Too late. That's the coward's way out._

_Then I'm a coward, arent you happy I admitted it?_

_In any other circumstance, of course. But not this._

_Just take them away._

_Fine. I'll be there tomorrow morning._

Jean slept fitfully through that night, trying to shut out a small piece of herself fighting hard against the darkness of her heart. She hoped Emma wouldn't come, she hoped she could just close her eyes and be gone. As daylight came, she woke to find the girls asleep on either side of her, and her heart beat hard at the thought of leaving them. She closed her eyes against the sting of tears in her eyes.

"You won't really do it, will you," Kitty asked.

"I don't know."

"Logan wouldn't want you to hurt so bad."

"But I do, Katherine. I can't stop it."

"Please get out of bed, Jean."

Jubliee turned over, still asleep. Jean nodded and sat up with Kitty, feeling weak from days of not eating or sleeping. Kitty helped her stand, taking the older woman around the waist to help her walk into the hall. They walked out onto the porch, sitting on the bench as the sun came up in a sky full of blues and yellows.

"Are you hungry?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"I'll get you something. You won't-" Kitty hesitated as she stood up.

"Take off running, no I don't think so," she smiled a bit, and it hurt.

The screen door shut behind Kitty, and Jean breathed deep despite the heaviness in her chest. She lost it so fast, was it possible she was only desperate to flee the pain? The sky was so light, gently pushing against the darkness in her heart, and she found herself yielding to the beauty around her. Could she truly end her life, knowing there was moments like these? Another breath seemed to clear her head further, and she looked up as a car sped toward the house. Kitty came out with an apple in her hand, looking warily at the car. Emma stepped out, tall and wearing her trademark white as always, free of any disguise. Kitty handed Jean the apple, who took a small nibble and rolled it around her tongue.

"I came because Jean asked-" Emma tried to talk to Kitty with some small amount of tolerance.

"I needed a friend," Jean amended, taking a large bite.

_Changed your mind?_

_I think I have._

_I came out here for nothing?_

_You can stay for awhile._

_It took me almost two hours to get here, there's no way I'm driving back today. Far too taxing._

"Will you talk like normal people," Kitty asked.

"Sorry Kit," Jean apologized.

"Where am I staying?"

"She can stay with us in your room," Kitty offered.

Emma made a displeased noise in her throat, but didn't object to it. Mac stepped out onto the porch, giving Emma a nod before looking to Jean.

"Can we talk," Jean asked.

He nodded, and Kitty escorted Emma to the small house, ever polite no matter how the woman regarded her.

"I'm sorry."

"I know what it's like, being in a place that dark," he replied. "I didn't know if being tough on you was the right thing, but I couldn't see any other way. You have to live for yourself, I wasn't going to ask you to do it for me."

"I need help."

"We'll do anything for you," Mac nodded, accepting the hand she placed on his.


	11. Tomorrow

Jean had her bad days, and worse. More often than not she made it through the next weeks with a determination not to let the depression get to her, to accept Logan's death was not her own, but there were still moments that left her lying on the floor in tears. Jubliee and Kitty allowed Jean those times with patience and maturity beyond their years, and even lay there with her, finding it helpful to them all to talk about Logan until they were all laughing hysterically. Logan had had that way of making the most sarcastic comment that in hindsight made the situation, no matter how bad, so much less important because he found the ridiculousness of it.

"Do you wonder what Logan was thinking," Jubliee asked, looking to Jean's tear-streaked face.

"I hope he was thinking about smoking cigars."

"Why not us?"

"Because he would have been thinking how he failed us, how he was leaving us alone."

"If he were thinking about cigars he would have been content," Kitty supplied the meaning to Jean's answer.

"Exactly right," Jean smiled.

"If he were thinking about killing, he would have been downright giddy," Jubliee caught herself, unsure if that was inaproppriate.

Jean gave a strangled laugh, wiping her eyes. "Then I hope for that as well."

Even Emma found it in her capacity to show the slightest bit of compassion while she stayed there. After so long with only limited contact, there was a part of her very contented with having Jean and the young Mutant women around. Though it wasn't easy.

Jean had Emma cornered in the bathroom on one particular afternoon that the girls were out with Justin, the blond looking like a child about ready to have a very high-priced tantrum, and the redhead looking back with an expression of hope.

"Why can't you buy yourself the test?"

"Because I don't want the girls to see it. I've already been throwing up every day this week."

"And who have I been screwing, the horses?"

"I don't like to talk about your sexual preference," Jean smirked.

"As if one of you wasn't bad enough," Emma made a disgusted sound.

"Please Emma."

"What if we just go into the city on pretense of shopping and you get one and use it in the restroom?"

"Would you want to take a pregnancy test in a public bathroom? To find out you're having a baby by a dead man?"

"Dead or alive, I would never be in your situation," Emma sniffed.

"Never say never. You may be all-powerful, but you're a woman just like me."

Emma ground her teeth in annoyance, complaining of a headache under her breath. "Fine, I'll do it!"

"Thank you."

"But so help me, if you are I'm not gonna be the godmother!"

Jean waited as patiently as possible while Emma went into town, trying to focus on making dinner. Why was this happening? This was the worst time for it to happen, it couldn't be happening...

"Kitty might be in the running for making dinner as good as you."

Jean looked up at the mention of Kitty's name, and Mac shrugged. "We've talked."

"It was bound to come out sometime," Jean smiled.

"What's on your mind?"

"The future," she sighed.

"Big plans," Mac asked.

"I'm not sure yet, just trying to get used to the idea of it without him."

"Looks bleak doesn't it?"

"We knew each other for years. He was supposed to be indestructible-" she took a calming breath.

"He isn't completely gone, you know."

"I know," she nodded, turning back to the stove.

"What's Emma so pissed off about," Kitty asked, picking an apple from the table.

"I asked her to run into town," Jean answered, trying to hide the anxiety in her voice. "Kitty, can you watch this for me?"

"Sure."

Jean's red hair whipped in the slight breeze and she jogged to the small house, greeted by a sniff and the bag thrust out in front of her as soon as she stepped in the door.

"I owe you," Jean held the plastic bag to her chest as she disappeared into the bathroom.

"Oh, so big time."

Emma had bought three, and Jean used them all, pacing back and forth in front of the sink. She didn't know if she even wanted this, but who was she to decide? There were bigger things in motion besides her own life. A chance that she could have a piece of Logan with her, someone that had his eyes or nose, to prove that he was here and he mattered. It was also a possibility that it was a false alarm, and her body was still trying to get back on track. Her watch beeped, and it seemed everything went into slow motion as she reached to turn the timer off. Taking a deep breath, she stepped up to the sink and looked at the tests.

"Oh."

Emma sat up in the chair as the door opened, looking to Jean's face for the answer.

"Well?"

Jean blinked, tears dripping down her cheeks.

"For Heaven's sake," Emma walked into the bathroom herself. "Oh Jean..."

"If I knew it would leave you speechless I would've gotten pregnant a long time ago," Jean sounded a bit hysterical, chuckling as she wiped away tears.

"What are you going to do," Emma asked, dumbfounded.

"I'm having Logan's baby, there's no other option."

"Are you going to tell the girls?"

"When everything checks out," she nodded.

"If you go to a regular doctor, they'll see your Mutant blood on the test results."

"I know, I was thinking the same thing."

"Imagine, two telepaths with similar thoughts," Emma rolled her eyes.

"You don't have to stay for this, Emma."

"Are you kicking me out?"

"Not if you'd rather stay," Jean shook her head.

"I fancy the thought of seeing you rotund and waddling like a duck," she replied with a smirk.

"I don't want to make a big move, not when I've started this pregnancy off under these circumstances."

"If you don't go to a doctor, Hank would have your hide, not to mention that old man," Emma gestured to Mac outside.

"When's the last time you talked to Hank?"

Emma's eyes darted back and forth searching her mind. "About a month ago, why?"

"Logan...he said Hank was working on ways to mask Mutant bloodtypes, I wonder if he might be able to tell us how that works."

"Shall I tell him about the happy event?"

"No, wait on that," Jean insisted.

"I'm all for it."

Emma came back from her phone call to Hank looking preoccupied, prompting Jean to ask what was wrong. A snapped retort restored Jean's irritation, briskly asking for any information. Emma stuck around just long enough to tell Jean a package was already on its way to her city apartment, and she'd be back with it in tow. In the next few days it came back that Jean was indeed pregnant, two months along to the day, and both mother-to-be and child were Mutant-free (thanks to Hank, and Jean's expertise with his kind of invention).

Jean got by for another two weeks before she took the girls aside to tell them, with her moods out of whack again she knew they were afraid of her going mental.

"Jean, you aren't dying."

"Are you dying," Jubliee paled.

"No, girls. I'm not dying, I'm pregnant."

They stood there for a moment, looking at her with blank faces.

"Logan's baby?"

With a nod, they leaped on her, shrieking excitedly as they hugged their guardian.

"So, they know," Emma looked in on the celebrating with a smirk.

"Emma knew before we did," Jubliee shouted.

"I didn't want to tell you before I was sure. She got the tests for me."

"Just the role I wanted to play in this, the servant of fetching pee sticks."

"Oh come on, Emma. You can be happy for a moment," Kitty smiled.

"A baby," Jubliee grinned.


	12. Beginning

It seemed overnight that Jean was four months along, her life full with work, afternoon naps, and nausea from the smell of the tractor fumes. Though it drove her crazy, everyone else found it amusing that as soon as the tractor was heard starting up, Jean was running for the nearest bathroom.

She had just left her bed, shuffling around the house. As an avid early riser, she enjoyed the quiet time alone to get ready for the day, though she would give anything for one more hectic morning at the Mansion. Bobby fighting Kitty over the last pancake, the sound of Xavier's wheelchair, and Storm shoving a cup of coffee under Logan's nose as he stalked into the kitchen to pacify him for a few moments. Checking on the girls, she ran her hand absently over her stomach, finally feeling a firm and very distinct roundness that she had lacked.

Going to the bathroom, Jean lifted her shirt and gasped at the change in the mirror. It was a shock to see her stomach protruding, when she had always been athletic and very trim. She could have sworn that when she checked just the other day, her stomach was as flat as ever, no physical proof that she was pregnant. It shamed her for a moment to be concerned with getting fat, and brushed the thought aside as if the baby might know it.

"What are you looking at," Emma asked as she shuffled toward the kitchen.

"Look at this."

Emma was horrified, she didn't hide it very well. "What happened?"

"Well, there's a baby-" Jean smiled at Emma's eye roll.

"But it wasn't there yesterday."

"It's normal, don't worry," Jean tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Wouldn't dream of it. So, is there any movement yet?"

"Not for another month or so," Jean looked down at herself with a thoughtful smile.

"What's that look?"

"I wonder what Logan would think of this," Jean turned away, knowing Emma wouldn't have the answer to what she wanted to hear.

"He would have come around to it, after it sunk in."

Jean looked to Emma with a kind smile, blinking back the tears in her eyes.

"Stay there," Emma requested, walking into her bedroom.

"Why?"

"Do you have to question every single thing, Jean?"

Jean shrugged sheepishly, it couldn't be helped sometimes. Emma came back with her fancy camera in hand, fiddled with the buttons for a few moments and then held the camera up to her face. With Jean's body angled in the doorway to the bathroom, the soft light accentuated the slight rise of her stomach.

"First public appearance," Emma reasoned.

"Please don't give the baby a big head until after he or she is born," Jean smiled.

"You have a good point about that," Emma chuckled unexpectedly, surprising both telepaths.

"Do you want coffee?"

"Please. I'll just go and put these on my hard drive."

They shuffled off to opposite ends of the small house, feeling closer then they had ever been.

Emma took to taking pictures of Jean, asleep or awake, working hard outside or making her stand for another snapshot of her changing profile.

"Thank you, Kitty," Jean smiled as Kitty wedged another pillow behind Jean's back.

"Seems like you've got all the pillows on this property," Emma smirked.

"I'm uncomfortable."

"Maybe it was the double cheeseburger you just had to have," Emma pointed out.

"No, this isn't...it's the baby!"

"Where? Let me feel," Kitty gasped, letting Jean place her hand where the kick could be felt.

Emma snapped a picture of Jean grinning as Kitty touched her bare belly.

The weeks passed quickly, life moving along like it tends to do. Jean's stomach started to impede her work, and so Jubliee started helping Jean make her bed.

"Your boobs are big," Jubliee stared.

"That tends to happen," Jean chuckled, looking down at herself.

"But they're gonna get bigger, the book says so!"

"Sadly they won't stay that way."

"They're bigger than Emma's!"

"Jubliation Lee," Emma hissed.

"Well they are," Jubliee insisted as Jean laughed.

Emma, though offended, snapped a photo of Jean laughing as she hugged Jubliee.

As Jean grew bigger, Emma saw the glow of absolute love in her eyes, not comprehending how someone could feel that way about someone they hadn't held. But that was motherhood for you, until you were one you had no inkling of unconditional love like that.

Just after the baby shower, Jean had gone to her room to take a nap. But Emma heard Jean's thoughts churning steadily, and went to check on her. She lay on the bed, rubbing her stomach steadily. Emma snapped a few quick pictures.

"Hey."

"What is it," Emma sat on the edge of the bed.

"Oh, I'm just tired..."

She saw that glimmer of missing Logan there, and what it would mean to Jean for him to be there with her. That hurt Emma most of all.

"Try and sleep, okay?"

Jean nodded, and closed her eyes.

"Jean, for the love of my sanity, sit down!"

Emma had been watching Jean move about the house restlessly while editing pictures of the last five months. Since the baby shower a week ago, Jean was in getting ready mode, trying to feel useful since Mac and Justin insisted she stop working and rest up for the birth. She had grown out all in front, and Emma had to admit, pregnancy looked good on her.

"I can't keep still. Baby doesn't have any room left."

"Are you going into labor?"

"Might be," she let out a heavy breath.

"Go and take a shower," Emma suggested.

"I think that's a good idea."

Emma continued emailing pictures to Hank, when she heard Jean groan.

"Jean?"

Jean's response was tight with fear, and Emma almost knocked her laptop over running to the bathroom. She could see Jean's rounded silhouette behind the curtain, and no water running.

"My water broke."

"I'll call the doctor, are you all right?"

"Yes," Jean responded, sounding like she had regained her calm for a moment.

Emma stayed close while Jean went ahead with her shower, relieved to catch the doctor right before she left for the day.

"Keep her comfortable, I'll be on my way shortly," the doctor reassured Emma before hanging up.

"Emma, could you had me a towel?"

"Sure," she stuck a towel around the curtain.

Taking Jean's arm as she stepped out of the shower, Emma helped her into the bedroom, getting comfortable clothes for Jean to wear.

"Should I call the girls in?"

"No, its fine. Emma...thanks," Jean smiled.

"It's nothing. Shall I let Hank know we're in business?"

"Yes, he'd love that," Jean lay on her side.

"All right, Ford, my dear. The time is now," the doctor announced twelve long hours later.

Emma stood next to Jean, with a hand on her shoulder. This wouldn' have been her first choice, but she had specific orders to stay with Jean, and she'd catch Hell if she didn't follow them. Though Jean was exhausted, Emma could feel a grim determination to keep going through the haze of pain.

"Push," the doctor counted down from ten at each contraction, Jean starting straight ahead as she bore down.

Finally, Jean fell back against the pillows gasping, covering Emma's hand with her own.

"It's a boy," the doctor smiled behind her mask, clearing his throat so he could let out a healthy cry.

They placed him on Jean's stomach, cleaning him up as he howled his displeasure at the overwhelming noises and chill of fresh air on his little body.

"Let me get a picture of him," Emma took her hand away to snap a picture, then returned her hand to Jean's, who held on tight.

"Have you decided on a name," the doctor asked as they took him away to get dressed.

"James," Jean spoke breathlessly, tears in her eyes.

"James Grey, sounds good," Emma whispered in her ear.

After a long night of feedings, Jean opened her eyes to see Emma looking into the bassinet curiously.

"He's not going to bite."

"With Logan as his father, I have my doubts."

"Do you want to hold him?"

"Later. Feeling pain?"

"Nothing I can't spend the next eighteen years of his life telling him about," she smiled in good humor.

"I think we should go to Bobby in India."

"Why is that?"

"The base of Hank's isn't secure, they've had to move," Emma muttered.

"You're going with us," Jean asked, sure she had heard wrong from being so tired.

"I'm bored, and now you have your hand full with this one," she reached out a tentative finger and brushed James' cheek.

"Hey, fearless leader," Jean smiled.

When James was a month old, the five Mutants prepared to leave Mac and Justin for India.

"You be careful now," Mac reminded Jean, touching James' head gently.

"We will," she smiled, hugging him for the first time.

Jean cradled James to her chest as Justin said goodbye to Kitty and Jubliee, and smiled as Justin approached her.

"Will we see you again?"

"Maybe."

"I'll miss you," he leaned in, giving her a gentle kiss.

Jean dragged a finger over his temple, making him forget as she had done with Mac, and walked away.

"Why did you do that," Jubliee asked, baby carseat in hand.

"To keep them safe."

"But they won't remember us-"Kitty accused.

"It had to be done, Katherine," Emma interrupted. "Jean can give the memories back if we ever come this way again. There's our man," she led the others to a man reading a newspaper.

"Scott," Jean gasped in disbelief as his crimson sunglasses came into view.

"Good to see you. Let's get on the plane first, then catch up," he smiled.

Jean buckled James into his carseat next to her, and took the opportunity to take a nap while he was sleeping. She woke when Scott touched her hand gently.

"Hey, you hungry?"

"Starving," she smiled.

"Better get some food in you before he wakes up," Scott smiled.

Jean adjusted blankets as Kitty and Jubliee slept in the reclining chairs.

"Same Jean that I remember," he grinned, carrying a full plate of fruit, crackers and cheese.

"Thanks. So, how have you been?"

"Storm and I have been piloting planes, smuggling information and new Mutants, since we got outta that compound."

"Is Ororo-" she looked to the door of the cockpit.

"Well it sure isn't me or Emma flying the plane," he joked. "Until Logan found us, we thought the worst of you three."

Jean swallowed the tears Logan's name brought to her eyes, smiling down at James. She could get used to it, and feel more pride than sadness, since James would be hearing so much about his father as he grew.

"He looks like you," Scott commented.

"You think?"

As if knowing he was being talked about, James began to cry. She picked him up, grabbing the diaper bag, and headed for the back room. "I'm going to be awhile, he's hungry too."

"I'll get back to the front and relieve Ororo."

As Jean changed James' diaper, a quiet knock interrupted her soft talking. "Come in."

"I just had to come and see the newest addition before I took a nap," Ororo's lilting voice took Jean back down so many old roads, she couldn't stop the tears from finally falling.

"Oh, I didn't want you to cry," Ororo knelt beside Jean and enveloped her in a familiar hug.

"It's happy tears," Jean pulled back, looking into Ororo's face. "Storm, its so good to see you."

"And you. Now, this is someone I have yet to meet," Ororo scooped James up in her arms. "He's gorgeous."

Jean watched Ororo with a smile. "He's everything to me."

"I can tell by the way you look at him. He must be hungry," she grinned at his squirming around.

"He's a big eater," Jean took him from Ororo and threw a blanket over her shoulder to feed.

"Stay, I'll just be resting a short while," she patted Jean's shoulder and lay down on the low bed.

Kitty and Jubliee were wide-eyed watching the sights of Delhi fly past in the windows of the car. They had been isolated for so long with so few people around that it seemed they were starved for stimulation. The air was heavy with aromas, making Jean breathe deep. Jean-Paul opened the door as they walked up, smiling at Jean carrying James against her chest.

"Let's get you settled."

A tall attractive man ran in the open front door as Jean and Jean-Paul climbed the stairs. "Where are they," Bobby asked, getting tackled to the ground by Kitty and Jubliee.

James lay in the bassinet next to her new bed while Jean unpacked. When he was old enough, the room next door was waiting ready with a crib, changing table, and rocking chair. The change felt good, being around other Mutants felt more natural, not to mention she wouldn't have to go by her alias anymore.

"What is it," she asked softly, picking James up as he cried. As soon as his head was against her chest he began to quiet, and Jean kissed his fuzzy head.

"How's my boy? Good? I'm so happy to have you, do you know that," she swayed side to side, and he made little noises of contentment.

"You and I are going to be okay. We're with our family, in a safe place."


	13. Living

James was exhausting, but Jean was happy. To see him smile for the first time, to pick his head up by himself, was more joy than she thought a person could handle. He was a content baby, but extremely alert from the start, as if he were afraid of missing something new.

"How is he," Jean whispered, coming downstairs after a much-needed nap.

"Perfect," Emma replied, using her foot to rock his carrier as he slept.

"I'd better eat, I can barely keep up with him now."

"Even with the rice cereal thrown in with your milk, he's hungry all the time," Emma stopped her quick type on the laptop to glance at him.

"I wish I wasn't so tired," she yawned, looking into the fridge.

"It's been three months since he was born. Maybe you should switch to formula now, give your body a rest."

Jean-Paul walked into the kitchen, guiding Jean away from the table.

"I can make my own food."

"But you don't have to," he smiled, pulling out chicken and vegetables.

"I don't know if I'm an invalid, or a milk machine," she muttered, kissing Jean-Paul's cheek all the same.

"You really should think about switching him to formula, Jean."

"I feel like I'm going to deprive him..." she looked down at her sleeping boy with a thoughtful frown.

"If you keep this up, you will deprive him of you being alert and enjoying him."

"Good point," she sighed.

Emma looked over the laptop screen at Jean, knowing she felt bad for needing so much help with James, and thought with a sigh that Logan would have the energy to spare to take care of James and give Jean a chance to rest.

"Jean-" Emma started.

"Yes?"

Jean-Paul jerked his head just a fraction so Emma could see.

"Go back to bed after you eat, we'll watch James."

br 

br 

At seven months, James was sitting up and playing with his toys in the living room. Jean dropped to her hands and knees, crawling up behind him.

"What's James doing," she asked.

James turned toward her voice, and lifted one eyebrow. Jean was stunned at the quirk, but James paid no mind as he crawled toward his mother for attention.

"I'm off," Emma walked into the room.

"Again? What's on the agenda this time?"

"More of the same, protecting our interests until the human race decides what they've done to us is wrong."

"Well be safe," Jean stood up.

"Always," Emma fluttered her fingers and went to the front doors where Scott was waiting.

"Your Mommy used to be like that," she spoke to James as he watched her with great concentration.

"You'll be that way again," Bobby promised.

"As long as I don't become a figurehead for the Mutant cause," she smiled.

"The not-so-Virginal Mary, Mother to all next generation Mutants."

"Exactly. Maybe no missions for awhile, but I could start helping out where you need help," Jean bounced James in her arms, making him giggle.

"I'll ask Jean-Paul about it."

"Is Emma all right?"

"You're the 'path, why you askin' me?"

"We may have gotten closer, but not that close. She's just...unusually distant."

"Jet-lagged probably," he shrugged.

"You're probably right. I'm just concerned," Jean shrugged with a smile.

"Careful, or you'll turn into that figurehead after all."

br 

br 

Jean smiled as Kitty, Jubliee, and Bobby came into James' room. They tossed books aside and took their usual places around the room, a routine debriefing of the day.

"Busy day at university," she asked, James testing out his legs as he gripped her index fingers.

"You have no idea," Jubliee groaned. "I'd give anything to be hauling hay again."

"Be careful what you wish for, they have animals to tend to in this country as well," Jean teased.

"What's James' newest talent," Kitty asked.

"Hold out your arms in front of you. Are you ready, James," Jean kissed his cheek as he started forward, and he managed a few steps in the space between Jean and Kitty.

"Way to go," Bobby grinned. "Pretty soon he'll be into everything, no one will be safe."

"He's growing so fast," Jubliee mused. "Almost one year old!"

"Do you think he'll be short?"

"Logan wasn't short," Jean replied.

"He wasn't tall, either," Bobby smirked, getting an elbow to his side.

"He was the same height as me," Jean insisted.

"If you added in the hair," Bobby snickered, dodging Jubliee's elbow.

"Robert, I could look him in the eye, without stooping," she warned with a smile.

"Okay okay, but he was shorter than me!"

"Everyone but Scott shorter than you, beanpole!"

"I am not a beanpole, check these guns out," Bobby yanked up a sleeve and flexed.

"More like slingshots, dear," Jubliee squeezed his bicep with a smile.

"I don't know why I come in here," Bobby muttered, rolling a ball to James.

"To have your daily flogging, of course," Kitty replied brightly.

br 

br 

"Happy birthday, Jean!"

Jean looked up in surprise as a cake was set in front of her in the kitchen, hands taking away her paperwork and laptop. Jean-Paul had started Jean on invoices of supplies to small factions of Mutant organizations, and between that and taking care of James, who was standing up in his playpen eager to be included in the gathering, she hadn't given a second thought to her birthday.

"I forgot," she blushed.

"That's for us to remember!"

"Where's Emma?"

"Gone again. But she left you something," Bobby ran out of the room, coming back with a manilla envelope in hand.

She opened the flap, and drew out a few pictures of Logan. It had been so long, seeing his face so clearly came as a shock. Standing half in darkness, the light casting his profile into sharp relief. That was how she remembered him, always between the light and dark, never choosing one side. Some had him looking out the window, and others his head bowed with eyes lowered, all unaware he was being photographed.

"Jean?"

"Yeah," she smiled, putting the photos away.

"Open mine," Kitty urged.

"Thank you," Jean smiled, glad her eyes had stayed dry.


	14. Bloodlines

Jean sat and watched James play with Kitty and Jubliee in the sunny courtyard. He was barely two and already running around like the little hellion she knew he would be. His eyes were blue-green, brows high and inquisitive (he had Logan's quirk perfected), and sported hints of what would become an almost carbon-copy of his father's profile.

Kitty jumped out from behind a tree, growling loudly enough to send him running.

"MAMA!"

"Over here, hurry hurry hurry," she held her arms open as he ran toward her.

Scrambling onto her lap, she wrapped James tight in her arms, covering him in the dark green cotton dupatta that was the custom of most women in India. She grinned at Kitty as the young woman circled the chair.

"Where did that little wolvie go?"

James giggled.

"He isn't here," Jean sighed.

"I thought I saw him come this way," Kitty tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"He passed me by."

"Oh, then I'll just go and find him then," Kitty said loudly, walking away to hide around the corner.

James stuck his head out of the dupatta, wriggled down from her lap, and ran exactly the way Kitty had gone. A loud growl and the chase was on again. Bobby scooped up James before Kitty could get her hands on him, James laughing uncontrollably as he was hoisted on Bobby's shoulder.

Jean opened her eyes in the dark, feeling James climbing onto the bed.

"What is it, love?"

"Bad dreams," he mumbled, laying his head on her shoulder.

"Monsters under the bed?"

"No."

"Hmm...what is it," she asked, placing a kiss on the top of his head. Brushing her fingertips over his temple, she saw his playmate's father. He already understood that Paro had a father, and he didn't. Thinking of Bobby, Scott, and Jean-Paul...he somehow knew that none of them were his father, as much as they took care of him.

Jean's breath caught in her throat, she hadn't expected this day until he was older. But here it was, the first of many things he wouldn't understand. Jean ran her index finger down his nose. "Close your eyes, I'm here."

Though her teammates would be positive influences on James, she wondered how she was going to raise him to be a good man. Logan had been that good man, there was no one else for her in this life to be a good father to James. When James' abilities manifested and he was discriminated against, would she be enough to help him understand?

Thoughts chased themselves around her mind and she fell into an uneasy rest, cradling her little boy to her chest.

Emma looked up as Jean stepped into the kitchen, pouring a cup of coffee.

"What."

"James. He knows that Paro has a father and he doesn't. I saw it in his head."

"He has a father," Emma muttered, having looked less and less like her unaffected self since James was born.

"Emma," Jean sighed.

"Jean, Logan isn't dead."

Jean jumped as if she'd been slapped, tears shining in her eyes. "Of all the things you've ever said to me, that hurts the most," she whispered.

"I am not lying to you," Emma insisted.

"I saw his body," Jean groaned, feeling as if she had been kicked hard in the stomach. "The whole world did."

"When I talked to Hank for you, he told me."

"Almost three years ago?"

"You were concerned for the baby, I didn't want you to lose him."

"But Logan was alive this whole time," she shouted.

"Could you have taken that shock, Hank wasn't even sure he could keep him alive! They cut his head off, remember?"

"How did he survive?"

"They got on the inside. The execution happened, but before his spinal cord was completely severed they intervened. It was close, they only had seconds to mask it. Bobby iced his body until they got him safely away. Even a self-regenerating Mutant couldn't come back from that in hours or days. It was months before he walked again."

"Is he damaged?"

"Unless you count the bad mood he started with, he healed completely," Emma smirked.

"You've talked with him," she grabbed Emma's shoulders, desperate to hear more.

"He knows about James."

"I want to see him," Jean demanded. "Tell me where he is."

"I'll call Scott, he's in Japan," she reached for the phone. "Jean."

Jean stopped at the doorway to the kitchen, turning her head. "What, Emma."

"I did it for you and James," there was a hint of a tremble in her voice.

"I know," Jean nodded.


	15. Alive

Jean didn't sleep that night, tossing and turning under the covers as she tried to come to grips with Logan being alive, after all this time. Kitty and Jubliee had been hysterical at hearing the news, while Jean had tried to be a calming presence as they staggered through their shock.

She checked on James in his room, placing the teddy bear under his arm, and retreated to the solitude of her room. Changing into a pair of cotton pants and a light t-shirt, she drifted to the pictures of Logan in their frames on the wall.

"You're alive," she whispered, resting her hand on the glass as she leaned into the wall sobbing.

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"Jean...wake up," Emma stood at the door, midday sunlight streaming in.

"Yeah," she raised her head, realizing at some point near dawn she had finally drifted off.

"They'll be here in two hours."

"I'd better get up and shower," Jean scrambled out of bed. "Where's James?"

"Paro and Jess have come over...can we talk?"

Jean stopped looking through her closet, knowing Emma wanted to explain herself.

"Emma, I am so sorry you had to carry this around with you for so long."

"I am, too," she muttered.

They embraced, and stepped back.

"Go take a shower, you look a mess," Emma commented.

"And we're back," Jean laughed.

Jean stood under the warm water, her heart skipping happily in her chest. In her towel, she rifled through her clothes until she decided on a black tank top and long black skirt, draping a light purple dupatta on the bed. Running a brush through her hair, she contemplated makeup, and second-guessed her choice of clothes. What did it matter? Logan liked her in anything, makeup or no. With an hour left, she sat on her bed and waited.

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She stood on the balcony of her bedroom above the street, waiting for the car that would bring him. Seeing the familiar car come through the gates, she nearly threw herself over the side leaning over the railing to catch a glimpse of him. Scott, Ororo, and Hank stepped out...but no Logan. Consumed with panic, she whirled to run downstairs and demand an explanation, and saw Logan standing in the doorway.

Everything she wanted to say left her mind, she could only stare at him as her heart hammered hard under her ribs.

"Jean," he crossed the room, gathering her up in his arms. "Jean...darlin'."

Jean clung to him, tears racing over the apples of her cheeks. The smell of cigar smoke on his clothes, plain soap from his morning shower, and his deodorant made her dizzy with happiness.

He was alive, this was real.

"How..." she pressed her forehead to his.

"I wanted to see you first," he breathed quickly, brushing his lips over hers.

She froze in his arms, stunned at the sensation of kissing him again. Slowly, he eased their mouths into a familiar dance and groaned his contentment as she relaxed into his chest, running her fingers through his hair.

"Logan," she sighed, smiling as he kissed the damp trails on her face.

"Where is he?"

"Playing outside with Paro and her mother, Jess."

They kissed again, and walked down the two flights of stairs to the courtyard. Logan hesitated as he heard the sounds of children playing, Jean looking back at him with a questioning tilt to her head.

"I just want to watch him first, you go."

Jean walked to their son, who called to her and raised his face for a kiss. For a moment he was afraid of his own child, having lived two years without him. Pictures were one thing, but to suddenly have a child that depended on him scared him to death. Would James like him, or would he be afraid? He stepped out from behind the pillar, and James noticed right away. They watched each other for a moment and then the boy ran toward him, arms outstretched as Logan reached down to pick him up.

They studied each other. James touched Logan's facial hair, since very few men he had been around had any if even close to that much. Chuckling at the confused eyebrow quirk, Logan wandered into the house.

Emma walked out into the courtyard with a smirk as Jean and Jess talked.

"What," Jean smiled.

"He made James a snack, and didn't give him any beer."

"We agreed not until he's four," Jean smirked back, getting up from her chair.

"Emma was right when she called you a bottomless pit," Logan chuckled at James.

Logan turned as he sensed Jean approach, James looking to her with a happy smile as he munched on a cracker.

"There's Mama," he pointed, looking Logan in the eye.

"Here I am," she grinned, kissing James' pointing hand.

Logan put his free arm around Jean's waist, holding her to his side.

"So what do you think," she asked, brushing crumbs off of James' shirt.

"He's amazin', Jean."

"Yeah, well half of that is you," she smiled.

Bobby and the girls came through the front door, free from university, in their usual manner of harnassed energy ready to explode.

"I can't belive she made us go to classes-" Jubliee voiced her displeasure, not for the first time by the sound of Bobby and Kitty groaning.

"In here," Jean called.

The girls saw Logan, and Jean plucked James from Logan's arms as they charged at him. They talked and cried as Logan held them, Bobby leaned against the wall smiling at the sight of the Wolverine being mobbed by women.

"What ya lookin' at, Icicle," Logan smiled.

"You always make women cry," he joked.

"For good reason, you just make them cry by talking too much," Logan replied.

"I'm going to get dinner started. Here," Jean handed James back to Logan.

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Logan watched as Jean bathed and dressed James for bed, seeing the admiration James had for his mother shining in his eyes that Jean gave right back to him with every smile.

"We make a good-lookin' kid," he grinned at James curled up around a teddy bear.

"I agree completely," she smiled, resting her chin on his shoulder as they stood in the doorway.

"Jean, I didn't want to stay away from you this long."

"I know...but why the big secret?"

"I was just starting to walk when James was born, and I knew if they told you...I just didn't want you to see me-" he shook his head, ashamed to be weak.

Jean kissed his shoulder. "You're here now. Come on, let's go to bed."

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Logan woke up as Jean slipped out from under his arm in the middle of the night, reaching for her robe.

"Where ya goin'?"

"James is crying."

"I got him," Logan pushed himself out of bed, wearing a pair of loose black pants that sat low on his hips.

"Are you sure?"

Logan leaned in and kissed her gently, happy to see her smiling up at him. "Go back to bed."

Half an hour later, Logan was thinking maybe Jean should have gotten up with him. He considered going to get her, but decided against it as James cried against his shoulder.

"I can do this," he muttered. "Hey, James. What's it ya need?"

Logan could speak in a variety of languages, but toddler wasn't one of them, so he decided to just start somewhere. James wasn't warm with fever, he wasn't cold...but as he looked closer into his son's tear-filled eyes he recognized fear. It was a simple nightmare.

"Just a dream, nothin' to be scared of now," Logan dried James' tears with a large thumb.

The deep tone of Logan's voice settled James, and his cries dissolved into gulps and hiccups as he drifted off to sleep in his father's arms. Laying him back in his small bed, Logan tucked the covers around him, and shufffled back to bed.

"Hey," Jean woke up as Logan slipped into bed behind her.

"Didn't mean to startle you."

"I'm not used to big warm man crawling into bed with me," she smiled.

"You had better not," he pulled her closer, tucking his face into her neck.

"This has got to be a dream," she murmured.

"Ain't no dream, darlin'. I'm as real as they come," he grinned.

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Logan grunted in his sleep, wrapping his arm around Jean's waist.

"Shush, your dad's sleepin'," Jean laughed quietly.

"Day time, get up," James insisted.

"Hey," Logan muttered.

"Hey," James picked his head up off the pillow with a grin.

Logan chuckled, and pushed James' head back onto the pillow.

"He comes in some mornings to have a cuddle," Jean explained.

"I don't mind it, I'm the one who has to fit into the life you two have."

"Well, there'll be some mornings he might not be so welcome in here," Jean smiled.

"That's where I come in, with my excellent hearing," Logan smirked.

"And I can wake Ororo up to get him before he runs in," she laughed.

"What," James asked, sensing he was being talked about.

"Nothin', kid," Logan cuffed him again, and James giggled.


	16. Play

"Hey," Logan snuck up behind Jean.  
"Hi," she smiled, turning to give him a kiss.  
"Mama...no," he grumbled, trying to push his parents apart by wedging in between their knees. When it occurred to James that Logan was a permanent resident of Jean's room, he became a little possessive of his mother.  
"Oh, not again," Jean sighed.  
"Listen, you..." Logan picked James up.  
"What," James muttered under his breath.  
"You love Mama, and so do I. So, we're just gonna have to share, okay?"  
"Okay," James sighed.  
"Good boy," Logan placed a kiss on James' cheek, whose mood improved as he squirmed and laughed from Logan's facial hair.  
"Remind you of anyone," Jean asked as he swatted James on the rear gently, sending him off to play.  
"He knows a good woman when he sees one," Logan smirked, though she saw a flicker of disappointment in his eyes.  
"What's wrong?"  
"It's been three months," Logan frowned.  
"It's gonna take some time, he's only two," she reminded him.  
"We repeat it to him all the time," he sighed, sitting on the couch.  
"You have to remember, he runs to you, he smiles at you."  
"He does that with Bobby," Logan grunted.  
"He'll make the connection," she reassured him.  
James ran up, smiling at Logan, his earlier aggravation over their kissing long forgotten.  
"C'mere you," Logan picked James up under the armpits, and his son giggled because he knew what was happening.  
Logan growled, and nibbled playfully at James' neck. James squirmed, and Logan started tickling him.  
"Mama," James squealed.  
"I can't help you, honey," Jean laughed.  
Logan lifted his son's shirt, and blew a noisy raspberry on his stomach, making him scream with glee. Jean smiled at seeing Logan so open with James, always interested in what James had to show him, wanting to teach him something new.  
"Think I should get Mama," Logan asked.  
"Yes!"  
"Oh no, don't bring me into this," Jean pushed away from the back of the couch.  
"C'mere, you'll only make it worse," he growled.  
"That does not work on me," she laughed, trying to resist the urge to run.  
"I only had to look at you to make you run back then," he smirked.  
"You're lookin' at me now, does it look like I'm running," she asked with a smile.  
Logan had her over his shoulder before she could react to him lunging for her, carrying her over to the couch.  
"Let me down," she laughed.  
"No problem," he tossed her onto the cushions, crawling on top of her as he growled.

"Big Wolvie," James giggled as Logan sniffed along Jean's neck, licking her jaw lightly.

"Go get help, oh I'm so scared," Jean pretended with James, who ran off as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"He shares well enough with Paro…maybe we should give him a full-time playmate to learn to share with," Logan commented casually.

"Logan," she admonished, smiling up at him.

"What?"

"Another baby," she asked in disbelief.

"Couldn't hurt," he shrugged.

"You weren't there for the birth," she smiled wryly.

"Jean, he's my boy…" Logan began hesitantly.

"I know you're hurt that he doesn't call you Daddy. Another baby would take that much longer to learn to say it, it won't be long."

"So no more babies," he asked.

"Let James get a little older, then we'll see."

Logan kissed Jean, moving so he could lie next to her.

"He loves you."

"I know he does," Logan sighed.

"Don't the two of you do anything around here," Bobby frowned, carrying James who had run into the Iceman first.

"Big Wolvie's got Mama!"

Logan growled, wrapping his arm and leg around her.

"I am a hostage, my day is completely full," Jean deadpanned.


	17. Circle

"Do you want anything," Jean asked, stretching as she stood from the couch

"Do you want anything," Jean asked, stretching as she stood from the couch.

"No," Logan flicked through pages of intel.

Jean crouched down next to James where he played on the floor. "What about you, baby?"

"No," he answered just as his father had, entirely focused on his toys.

"I think Dad needs a break, don't you?"

"Yes."

She chuckled and kissed the top of his head, heading for the kitchen. James got up from the floor, padding over on bare feet to the couch, ball in hand.

"Dad?"

Jean's head jerked around, finally hearing what they had both been waiting for and Logan looked so-

"Logan," she groaned.

"What," he called over his shoulder, attention still on the papers.

"I love you, but sometimes you are so dense," Jean smiled.

"What are ya talkin' about," he muttered, ruffling James' hair.

James looked to his mother with wide, uncertain eyes; she nodded to encourage him to try again.

"Dad?"

Logan looked hard at James, and picked him up with a gruff laugh, papers falling to the ground.

"Want somethin', baby boy?"

"Play ball with me?"

"Sure," Logan stood, giving James a quick kiss to the side of his head. "You coming with us," Logan asked Jean.

"In a minute," she smiled.

She stood in the doorway, glass of tea in hand, watching Logan rough-housing and cuddling their boy; two wolverines rolling around the grass without a care in the world. Seeing them together brought her a sense of peace, even in this uncertain time for their kind. Glancing over her shoulder, Bobby, Kitty, and Jubliee came through the front door, ever complaining about university.

"Jean, would you tell Scott that I am perfectly capable-"Emma complained prettily.

"Scott, she's perfectly capable," Jean smiled.

"Thank you, at least someone appreciates me!"

"Em, I didn't mean it like that," Scott tried to explain.

"Oh, you certainly did! I-Jean, are you really," Emma paused her rant to give Jean a questioning look.

"Don't say anything," Jean winked.

"Oh, not another one!"

"What? Another what," Scott asked, clueless.

"I swear, you better stop after this one, or I will turn myself into the government with a bow on," Emma warned.

"I'll do my best," Jean chuckled.

"As for you, Scott-" Emma crossed her arms over her chest, staring down the visored Mutant.

Jean shook her head at Scott's silent plea, turning back to Logan and James.

Even if they never returned to the States again, Jean knew as long as they had each other, they would be home.


	18. Author's Note

Author's Note: As of right now, War is a complete story

**Author's Note: As of right now, War is a complete story. However, that does not mean a continuance isn't a very real possibility. I have no idea when or why my brain comes up with something…so never say never!**

**Was I too subtle when Jean let Emma in on her second baby? I was surprised no one went squee! on storycomments.**


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